6th Grade Revisited - Keep It Down

Don’t know about your household, but when the winter weather arrives, it usually brings forth nasty maladies into ours. Our winter break from school was nice – because, well…no homework, but a nasty bugaboo took a stronghold on me and my son. We were lying around convalescing, when a highly intellectual conversation took place about a reputation killer: vomiting in school.

I shared with him, how I would have preferred every hair on my body plucked out one by one with tweezers than to have thrown up in school- ESPECAILLY IN THE 6TH GRADE- The less attention on me the better. Plus, I am a very private person; really don’t want all my peers to know my dietary habits.

My son agreed with me wholeheartedly as we lay still and quiet for a minute no doubt thinking about the scene of blowing chunks in front of others. Our simultaneous shivering sound effects broke the silence:

Son: It is just too disgusting to think about, let’s talk about something else.

Me: OK… (A few minutes of quiet) But isn’t it crazy how no one moved when someone up-chucked in the class room? I don’t know why this sort of incident produced a somber-like atmosphere, but it did. I think maybe it's because everyone is holding their breath trying not to do the same.

Son: I know, and whoever did the up-chucking that day, news would spread so fast around the classroom, that kid was marked until the next person threw up.

Me: The drama behind puking in school was huge. There is the loud disgusting sound, the nasty spew and heaven forbid if chunks came out of the person’s nose. (Laughter)

Son: Oh and what about the annoyed janitor who has to clean it up?

Me: Oh yes, and you know he is thinking ‘I am not getting paid enough for this.’ He comes down to the scene of the crime with that sawdust-type stuff which looks just as nasty as the vomit. Half the class is mesmerized by what the janitor is doing and the other is turning away trying not to vomit themselves. AND WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THAT SAWDUST STUFF THE JANITOR PUTS ON THE PUKE!!??

Son: I bet is it leftover cafeteria food.

Me: Yeah, you’re probably right.

We did not have fevers during this conversation – I am sure of it!!!